John was a tall, heavy African American with dreadlocks that fell to about his waist. He had about three teeth missing, but still strutted his beautiful smile from across the river, looking as if he didn’t have a worry in the world. But, what caught my eye was his C.D. player hooked up to headphones placed in his wide ears.
As I approached the man, he quickly turned around and my first instinct was to jump back a little when this sudden move was made. The man proceeded to say, “Chill out white boy I ain’t got nothing.” We both started to chuckle about the situation. I, then, introduced myself, he exchanged his name. “The name is John” he said in his sweet low voice. We proceeded to talk about anything from the weather, to the football game the upcoming weekend. As he warmed up to me, John explained his story to me. We discussed everything from the abuse he faced as a child in Alabama, to his heroin addiction in New Orleans just a few years ago.
“Everyday, I try to erase my past and look into the future.”
John gave me the story of his life, going into detail about his sickening childhood. John was physically, sexually, and verbally abused by his single mother who was a prostitute. He was often left home alone to fend for himself, whether it be for food, water, or even a friendship.
“Do not give into anyone, including yourself.”
The peaceful man then went into talking about his former and present drug addictions. John hitchhiked his way to New Orleans to find work with only 100 dollars. John spent 10 dollars on a joint from a man on the street. The joint had been laced with heroin. John became a heroin addict for 11 years. John moved to Austin and became sober about 3 years ago. He told me his thought process for quitting Heroin, which was not giving into anyone or yourself. He explained that your inner addict, abuser, and other demons can only be defeated by yourself, whether you do not give in at the start, or climb back up to defeat them. It is up to you to punish those attributes for trying to get out of their cage.
“Dream beautiful and unusual. Wake up like every day is new to you.”
At this point of the conversation, I felt really connected with John. John was wearing a very vibrant tie-dye Kanye West T-shirt that had the “Graduation” album cover on it. I told john my jealousy of his shirt and expressed my love of Kanye West. He has a couple of Kanye albums for his C.D. player. We went back and forth on our favorite songs from the rap artist. The topic was dying down and he proceeded to tell me his favorite verse from a Kanye song. “Dream beautiful and unusual, wake up like every day new to you.” John then explained to me what this line meant to him. He told me he wakes up everyday with the attitude of going out to do something new and live his life to the fullest. He explains that this is how he goes through his life, looking forward to new opportunities and only looking to the future. John goes through everyday viewing everything as a blessing, being true to himself and his life of peacefulness.
“No matter what you do in your life, be one with yourself and your life.”
Reflections on John →