‘Manuel’ straddles his rusty bike, standing firmly so his solid build hovers over the seat. His ropy hands grip the handlebars. His face is long to a protruding chin, stuck with a stubbly beard, his skin an oily olive. Salt-and-pepper hair jabs from a tilted black Chicago White Sox cap, spurts above his intensely round eyes. His cheeks crag up and down as he speaks and enunciates, with a clear, edgy voice.
“When we’re praying, we’re accustomed to saying G-O-D. And we’re accustomed to saying L-O-R-D, and we’re accustomed to saying J-E-S-U-S. But those are basically blasphemous names.”
Manuel was born and raised in Austin, living on the South side during his childhood. By the 1980s, he had gained power as a gang leader.
“I used to be the biggest guy on the East side of Austin. Biggest ever. 51st Street, all the way to —. Back in the ‘80s and ‘90s. I said what went on.”
In 1991, he even was given the opportunity to help a friend write music for Willie Nelson, he said.
The first bit of a song he sung.
The life was thrilling in its particular way, he said, until he was caught.
For: “A lot of crazy things,” he laughed. “I’ve spent more time behind prison walls than out here.”
During this period, he was devastated through a string of misunderstandings. His girlfriend was pregnant with his baby daughter, he said. Another female friend, an ex-girlfriend, visited him in prison. And his girlfriend became suspicious.
“When [my girlfriend] came to see me, we were talking and she said, ‘What is so-and-so doing on her visitation?’ And I tell her, she’s just going to help me financially.”
Later, when he called home, his nephew delivered bad news.
“He said, ‘Hey, I went to your house. And your girl was with your best friend, and they were in bed, kissing.’”
Those words destroyed him.
“That broke my heart. I’m talking about, I hit rock bottom.”
He was in solitary confinement then, and found himself with nothing but some leaflets of the Bible. He began studying Scripture, he said.
“The Father was working in me. And opened my eyes.”
***
- “Genesis 1, verse 1 and verse 2, they’re different—they’re millions of billions of years apart. You know how people say the Big Bang Theory? Well, there was a Big Bang, but it wasn’t what they say it was. What happened was, in the beginning, Elohim created the heavens and the Earth. So we know that in the beginning, our Creator was in the business of creating.”
- There is a higher power: in two parts. Instead of the Trinity in Christianity—God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit—there is Elohim and Yeshua, complete equals to each other.
- “When we’re praying, we’re accustomed to saying G-O-D. And we’re accustomed to saying L-O-R-D, and we’re accustomed to saying J-E-S-U-S. But those are basically blasphemous names. What happened was, before, it was common to say Yaweh. But the Greeks came and wanted to do away with everything from Hebrew descent—the language and everything. So they put in their Greek deities—Zeus. The Latin and the Greek are similar, so what the Greeks: they changed the name of Ye-SHUA to Je-SUS. You see the Zeus? Je-SUS. So if you want your prayers to be heard and you pray in the name of Zeus, then it’s another word for Baal.
- When you see G-O-D, use Elohim. It means Mighty One. And let’s say you’re praying for your family. If you pray for your family and you use the name of Jesus, your prayers are going no higher than [your head]. Why? Because only one name above has been given unto man by which one can be saved. That’s the name of Ye-SHUA. And when you use that name, it gives the power.
- We have this Spirit that was given unto us—we call it the human spirit. When the Father calls you, he embeds you with his spirit. And that’s why it says in the book of Roman, those with the Spirit of Elohim are His, and those without are not his. It means that they haven’t been called yet to understand these things.
- So to know him means to call him by his name. If I call you anything other than your name, you’re not going to turn around. He has a name. So we want to invoke the name of Ye-SHUA, the name of Yahweh. When we do that, the whole Earth stops. It stops. And the spirit of Yahweh is hovering over you. And the Father is hearing you, is hearing your voice. When you invoke His name, everything is like: ‘Yes, my [son or daughter]. What can I do for you?’ He knows everything you want, but he’s going to listen to you. Because you called upon his name.
- Not because you called him Zeus. Not the name of B-A-A-L. That’s what ‘Lord’ signifies: Baal.”
- “The Father knows everything. He knew that the angels were capable of rebelling. But there’s one thing that the Father chooses not to know, and that’s this: the choices you make. You’re a free moral agent capable of deciding what is right and what is wrong. And he dictates what is right and what is wrong—in his word. So we read it. And we obey or disobey. So what are we going to do?”
- “There’s no more condemnation for those in the name of Ye-SHUA. Because you trust in Him. The saying that goes, ‘Once saved, always saved’—is a lie. No. The word Hebrew, or the word Heber, who was the father of Abraham, can also be spelled as Overcomer. We have to overcome. Overcome the self-desires. Overcome the world. The desires that the world is pushing in your face. And of course the enemy, Satan, and yourself.”
- “He says that if you have not love, you gain nothing. And what is love? If you look up love, it says love is an action word. But the love of the Father is forever. Your own mother may someday not love you. But the Father’s love never, never fails.”
***
Just before Manuel went to prison:
“When I was with my girl, she was pregnant. I was on 51st St, and the light was red. I was waiting for it to turn green—I was going to turn right, and I was waiting for it to turn. Just as the light turned green and I’m fixing to turn, something stops my car. My car just stops. Right away, I turn it on and I’m fixing to turn again. But right as I’m fixing to turn… [someone ran the red light]. And if something had not stopped my car, you and I would not be talking today.”
Earlier in his gang life:
“I was in the East Side of Austin. A rival came over with a shotgun and pointed it at me face, pulled the trigger. Guess what? Nothing hit me.”
Knowing and believing what he does now, he said this.
“The Father, when he does things, he does things with a purpose. There’s purpose there.”
***
Manuel left prison just recently, and experienced several months of homelessness before moving in with a new girlfriend and her family. But the lack of privacy has made the situation a little edgy. His girlfriend’s sisters in particular have made him uncomfortable.
“Sometimes they want to make a move on you. And then when the bad things happen, they say, ‘Well, you made a move on me.’ And I say, ‘Really? You weren’t trying to hold my hand while your boyfriend was inside the store? Really?’” One of the sisters even told him: “You picked the wrong sister.”
He said that he’s been dealing with it by listening.
“The good thing to do is to just listen to what the girl’s saying. And pretend like you’re not hearing it. If not, if you say anything other than that, then it’ll go further. It’ll go further and go where you don’t want it to go.”
Beyond that, he makes sure to tell his girlfriend, he said, to establish trust.
But soon he hopes to stock enough funds to move him and his girlfriend to their own place. An apartment on Riverside, perhaps. He works odd jobs—this week, for example, he’s working doing setup and cleanup at South By Southwest. Soon it’ll be enough, he hopes.
Just one dark cloud hovers—his biggest regret. His daughter, conceived of his girlfriend during prison time, is now twenty-one and lives in San Antonio with her two kids.
“Most of her life, I’m not gonna lie to you, I haven’t been a part of her life. And it hurts me a lot. Because I think about her every day. And her mom, she has someone else. I’m gonna respect that. And I’m sure the Father has mercy and grace to give me time. I just wish I’d be able to spend time with her, and my grandkids, you know.”
He vows to be understanding and patient, nonetheless.
“Until that time comes, I’m going to continue to invoke his name, to call upon his name. And to be obedient. That’s the main thing: to trust.”